The chronicle of a pneumonic drama queen in Bangkok

Minus the part where I fell sick, Bangkok was a big bang! Can't believe we didn't have a camera with us. Since it's Edwina's virginal trip to Thailand, I had to pretend its my very first cherry poppin' trip as well. Just to psych things up for her. It was our little girly trip!

Day 1
I left for Bangkok for a holiday and of all people, I had to bump into the bunch of architects I'm working with for a certain project anywhere else but on the same flight. We arrived Bangkok late evening on Wednesday.

Perfect timing to head to the overhyped Bed Supper Club for Models Night. We had the fixed 3 course dinner. Ed had oysters shooters which I absolutely rejected to prevent myself from heightening my sexual libido yet hanging myself high and dry in the middle of Bangkok filled with beautiful people, and the thought of not getting laid for awhile saddens me. So I opted for the yummy truffle. I rather swallow those fungus than to leave myself high and dry. The main course, Ed opted for lamb cooked with red wine sauce while I had my duck breast cooked with foie gras jus. Absolutely fantastic. The dessert? Orgasmic. The chocolate and peanut butter sorbet with mud cake pieces. Mmmm. While Ed opted for the cheese tart which tasted slightly off, imagine eating blue cheese with raspberry sauce. Dinner was then washed down with Whiskey Apple . It's so nice that you'll get absolutely plastered without realising.

My phone beeped during dinner. It was from MrMD. It says "Will you be in BKK this weekend?" I replied "In fact, I'm there already. How can I help you?" It beeped again "My buddy Kevin Woon will be heading over. Please take care of him. He'll call you tmr." "I'll be his new buddy:)" And that was how I got to meet Kevin.

Bed's not where local hang out. Only local working girls/boys hang out at that joint. And looking like a local, yes, I was approached a few times by dirty white men. Urgh. A dorky Irish guy, some hot looking guy (but way too short) from Lima and an American tried stuffing their numbers on drink coupons into my hand. Up until I was at the bar, suddenly I felt fainty and needed to sit down. It could be the allergy to the beautiful people around me, or the very first sign of my pneumonia. Who knows. I sat down at one of the bed, waited for the blacking out feeling to go off, downed another whiskey and staggered out, hailed a cab hand in hand with my lovely blonde friend back to our serviced apartment. First night knocked off without much drama, besides blacking out slightly at the bar.


Day 2
Hearty breakfast is a must for holiday. We stuffed ourselves silly before heading out for the ferry ride to the Grand Palace. Ooh. Did I forget to mention? We brought our travel bible with us - The Luxe Guide. Swear by it, children. It's oneliner witty tells it all.

We were waiting at the pier next to the Oriental for the ferry ride. Expecting a quaint little wooden boat, but a floating piece of junk showed up. Not being snooty, but we were all shoved in like cattles. It was literally a junk bus on murky water. It's not called Chao Phraya River for a reason.

And babes, remember to wear sleeve when going to Grand Palace. I was lazy to head back after breakfast to pick up a shawl, ended up having to wear some sweaty shirt that's probaly worn for the upteemth time by god knows how many ppl's sweat left behind without washed for the last few years. Leave 100baht behind as deposit, and you'll get your very own sweaty shirt until the end of your tour. Being an el cheapo, Ed and I decided not to hire a guide, nor rent the audio help. We just kinda tagged along others and stood close enough. You know, close enough to hear what the guide's talking about, but not too close to appear like a cheapo.

The Royal Palace, this inner-city riverine landmark contain several building with highly detailed architectural features. Wat Phra Kaeo within the same compound, is a treasure house of Thai arts, and houses the Emerald Buddha, the most revered Buddha image in Thailand. It left us in awe. Ed & I made a deal before the trip, not to mention anythin relevant to work. Anything architecture or interior will be a taboo topic for us. But while we were at the palace, we couldn't help it but to scream in awe to each other. "Look at the detailing hun!!!" "Do you think they stencil them or drew it free hand??Thank god we have wall paper now.."

After getting my 100baht deposit back and leaving a piece of me(my icky sweat on the shirt) behind in the Royal Palace, we hopped onto a tuk tuk after getting on to several cab who refused to go by meter. It seems on that day, the government gives the tuk tuk free gas, we only need to pay them 20baht for the whole damn trip and they'll take us from the palace, to the jewellery fair, the fashion fair and a temple. We tried to ask the tuk tuk driver to just drop us off at MBK but he said he's obligated to make the stops, even if it meant we just get off the tuk tuk, walk in and walk out within few seconds.

Outside the temple while waiting for the poor tuk tuk driver to have his lunch, I struck up a conversation with a thai journalist who was reading his papers and having his ciggy under the tree. He gave us a few pointers of where to go and what to expect in Bangkok. I love Thais. They are such friendly and soft spoken people.

Halfway thru our tuk tuk journey, the tuk tuk broke down. Yes. Bad luck trails along wherever the drama queen goes. The poor driver refused to get paid because he didn't finish his journey no matter how much I insisted. He pointed to his gas tank and said "gah-ment gif flee gas. ok ok. no pay."

It breaks my heart to see such poverty. I mean, the vast diff. between the rich and the poor in Thailand's just too big. Look at those people dumping their money into designer lables in Siam Paragon, and here this poor tuk tuk driver's only make 20baht a day with a small tank of free gas.

After secretly stuffing 50baht in his front seat, we hopped onto a cab to MBK. Seriously, MBK is a nightmare. There's too many visual inputs that drove me nuts. MrsPhoon wandered into MBK and bought a gorgeous gown with all the handsewn swarovski beads and a lovely low back piece together with strands of swarovski for a mere RM900+ on her last shopping trip is the main reason that drove us into MBK. We needed to find dresses (more like Ed needed since I have dresses still with tags on sitting in my wardrobe) for the upcoming LV launch. Or else, I'll never ever step into this visually disaster mall.

We left with 2 pairs of slippers, shawls, no dress and an eye sore. Well at least I'm happy with my 31 Baskin Robbin Paradise Tea ice cream. Ed said I'm a big kid when I started hopping off to B.R and had such a big smile on me while eating my ice cream on cone while 5 minutes ago I was just sulking about MBK mall.

We managed to find a place in Siam Square which is right next to MBK to get our manicure and pedicure done. 850baht with foot massage included. Not bad at all. We fell asleep with our mouths opened halfway thru the treatment. Not a very nice sight, I know. But we were too tired. I know I promised Ed not to mention this, but I just have to. She's got the ugliest dirtiest british feet I've ever seen. teehee. The water turned BROWN from soaking her feet. She'll kill me if she ever read this. Thank god she doesn't know the existence of this blog. The blog's something I keep hush-hushed about from most of the people I know(or so I would love to believe until they told me they've been secretly reading my blog).

On the first day we indulged so much where else the next day we just had McDonalds and Subway for dinner. Big difference. We walked out to the main Sukhumvit road to grab a foot long from Subway. Bunch of call girls were sitting outside Subway, touching the thighs of ugly fat balding white men. Such a sad sight. We were enjoying our foot long until this weird old man came up to Ed and started mumbling in Thai. The he turned to me and mumbled away as if he was casting a curse on me. I must have looked totally freaked out. This Thai man sitting across the road started yelling out at the old man when he made eye contact with me. He stood up, about to walk over to shoo the old man away, but the sandwhich boy from Subway came running with a metal thongs screaming in Thai and chased the old man away. What was that all about, I had no idea.

After the footlong, we jumped into the cab and headed to Face. It's the best place I've visited in Bangkok so far. Its hidden at the corner of Sukhumvit Road and Soi 38. It's hidden so well, you might just miss it. Face Bangkok is an upscale dining-nightlife venue consisting of a bar, two restaurants, cafe, spa, and event space. Face Bar is the lounge, tricked out in moderately kitschy Thai artifacts and more contemporary loungeware. Hazara is an Indian restaurant, while Lan Na Thai serves traditional Thai fare. All the rooms are elegant though a little too on the nose, theme-wise, while the food receives moderate to enthusiastic reviews. Face also has locations in Shanghai and Jakarta.

Kevin dropped by after Ed and I downed a pitcher of beer. That's the very first night I met him. He appears to be a very quiet and soft spoken character. We sat under the glass roof and chatted until the last call from the bar. Clubs in BKK closes at around 1am to 130am, after the breakdown by the prime minister. We were knackered anyway, with all the touristy stuff and negative visual inputs. I chucked Kev into a cab and caught one ourselves back to our place. I was completely plastered out of fatigueness.

to be con't...